June 09, 2005
GOP Senators Shocked: Judge Brown is Black by Scott Ott (2005-06-09) -- Republican Senators, who yesterday confirmed President Bush's appointment of Judge Janice Rogers Brown to the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, today expressed shock at learning that the California Supreme Court justice is black. The revelation comes in same week that Democrat party Chairman Dr. Howard Dean released his research showing that Republicans, and especially their leaders, "all look the same" because they're "white Christians". "I'm concerned about how this is going to play with the white base," said an unnamed Republican Senator upon learning of Judge Brown's non-mainstream race. "I feel betrayed by President Bush, who has now managed to sneak a number of non-whites, not to mention women, into high-ranking government positions. The White House tricked us into focusing on the accomplishments of nominees, distracting us from the key genetic and theological markers that Dr. Dean has identified as determining factors of Republicanism." The source claimed that Republican Senators were unaware of the racial and ethnic status of Cabinet members including Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierez, Labor Secretary Elaine Chao, Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta, HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson and Secretaries of State Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice. "Now that we've seen the photos," the anonymous source added, "it seems that not even half of the Bush Cabinet members are white males, and some of those may not even be Christians. The president has secretly assembled a virtual rainbow coalition right under our noses." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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