by Scott Ott
(2005-05-26) -- In response to appeals from consumer advocate Ralph Nader, the Pentagon today recalled thousands of military toilets because they may be powerful enough to flush a copy of the Koran.
"If that toilet generates enough force to take down a book of several hundred pages," said Mr. Nader, "then it poses a clear and present danger to prisoners at Guantanamo and to our troops worldwide."
Mr. Nader, who became famous in the late 1960s by declaring the Chevrolet Corvair 'unsafe at any speed', said, "I would rather drive a Corvair at top speed on figure-8 track than take my chances on this turbo-flush toilet. It's unsafe for any deed, and may constitute a violation of the Geneva Conventions."
In fact, U.S. troops around the world have privately complained of the dangers posed by the plumbing fixture they call an 'I.I.D.' -- Improvised Implosive Device.
"It's a swirling vortex of death," said one unnamed soldier. "The other day, I lost a grenade, my helmet and hardcover copy of 'War and Peace
' in one fell swoop."
The Pentagon statement praised U.S. troops for "their willingness to perform their duty in the face of such risk."
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