by Scott Ott
(2005-05-11) -- The Senate Foreign Relations Committee this week will likely approve the nomination of Under Secretary of State John Bolton as the new ambassador to the United Nations, but aides to the Senate panel said today the confirmation will be "born of sheer terror."
"The Senators are intimidated by Bolton," said one unnamed legislative aide. "When faced with a threat like this, there are two natural responses -- fight or flight. The hearing room has been raging sea of adrenaline. The Senators can't take another day of Bolton's blunt talk and penetrating stare."
While experts predict a party-line vote to confirm, even the Republicans on the committee privately express eagerness to escape what they called "the shadow of the mustache."
President George Bush said he's eager to see his nominee go to work at the United Nations, "because, as Teddy Roosevelt said of the presidency, the U.N. Ambassadorship is 'a bully pulpit'."
Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Editor's Picks
