April 21, 2005
Energy Bill Offers Incentives to Burn Cheese by Scott Ott (2005-04-21) -- An $8 billion energy bill headed for approval in the U.S. House of Representatives offers incentives to companies that develop technologies that use renewable petroleum alternatives such as clean-burning American cheese. The bill would offer government grants to manufacturers of vehicles powered by cheese combustion or decomposition as well as gasoline/cheese hybrids. "The nation's strategic cheese reserves are at an all-time high, thanks to government incentives to dairy farmers," said Rep. Henry A. Waxman, D-CA. "We now produce cheese so cheap that we have to give it away. By using more tax dollars to jumpstart American ingenuity, we'll soon be free from OPEC oppression and we'll give our nation's endangered dairy cows a new lease on life." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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