by Scott Ott
(2005-03-03) -- In a stunning reversal, President George Bush today announced that "no reform is needed to the Social Security system, and Congressional Republicans were right to drag their heels on my efforts to change it."
"I was wrong," Mr. Bush said, "In fact, things are going so well with Social Security that today I propose to put members of Congress on the same terrific plan enjoyed by the rest of our citizens. Since it ain't broke yet and there's no crisis yet, I know they'll embrace this equal opportunity proposal. Who could vote against it?"
The average retirement benefit for members of Congress under the Federal Employee Retirement System (FERS) is currently in the range of $45,000-to-$55,000 per year, not including their Thrift Savings Plan (an optional personal retirement account).
The White House proposal would eliminate several elements of the FERS and put a Senator's Social Security retirement income at the same level as the average American worker -- somewhere between $11,160 and $21,900 per year.
"As our elected officials look forward to hauling down that kind of retirement loot," Mr. Bush said, "I'm sure the next piece of legislation will be a resolution thanking God for Social Security."
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