February 19, 2005
Disgraced Anthropologist Drinks 40,000-Year-Old Milk by Scott Ott (2005-02-19) -- A disgraced German anthropology professor, who pretended to use carbon dating to establish a link between Neanderthals and modern man, told reporters today that he regularly drinks 40,000-year-old milk and drives a Porsche Carrera made in 736 BC. Frankfurt Professor Reiner Protsch von Zieten resigned this week from a 30-year career as one of the world's leading anthropologists, when a panel concluded his carbon dating of human bones was incorrect by thousands of years. The inquiry found that one skull, which Mr. Protsch claimed came from a 27,400-year-old human fossil, was actually still attached to the living body of a departmental colleague. "He's much older than he looks," said Mr. Protsch. "My data shows that he may be the missing link between Piltdown man and today's homo sapiens." A spokesman for the Anthropology Professionals Exploration Society said, "the disclosure that one of our most-trusted anthropologists was a total fraud, and his carbon dating a cheap trick, does nothing to diminish the credibility of the profession or the scientific consensus that modern man descended, through mutation, from apes." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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