by Scott Ott
(2005-02-12) -- Just days after North Korea boasted it possesses nuclear weapons, the communist dictatorship's revered leader, Kim Jong-Il, today announced that unless the United States meets his demands he would turn his own country into a "lake of fire" using those weapons.
The demands include a non-aggression treaty with the United States, an end to economic sanctions and a massive influx of tobacco, alcohol and DVDs of newly-released Hollywood movies.
"The blood of 23 million hostages will be on George W. Bush's hands," said Mr. Kim. "As a respected member of the United Nations, the DPRK calls on its fellow U.N. members to pressure the U.S. to save these hostages from nuclear annihilation."
U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said, "the Security Council will seriously consider the DPRK's grievances and vote soon on a resolution condemning U.S. saber rattling."
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