January 19, 2005
Europeans Unveil 50-Acre Airport Lounge by Scott Ott (2005-01-19) -- To accomodate the 840-passenger loads of the new super-sized Airbus A380 jetliner, the European Union (EU) today unveiled its first in a series of 50-acre airport lounges. The ribbon-cutting ceremony in the lounge featured 500 high-stepping Lipizzaner stallions bearing 500 licensed French mimes in a dramatic choreographed routine. French President Jacques Chirac celebrated Europe's new dominance of the so-called "mega-niche," during a spectacular nine-hour ceremony in the lounge today. "America once became great simply by making big cars, big ships and big buildings," said Mr. Chirac, whose nation recently opened the world's highest overland suspension bridge. "Now Europe is ready to challenge America's greatness." The expansive new airport lounge, dubbed Le Nez de Gaulle, features vast arrays of wide-body chairs, numerous Jumbotron screens displaying CNN International, a full European football stadium, a 35-acre frisking-and-sniffing security complex, and restrooms with a maximum capacity of 1600 simultaneous users. Parking lots will still be located within a 15-mile radius of the airport. Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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