December 06, 2004
Deal on Intel Bill Makes U.S. Instantly Safer by Scott Ott (2004-12-06) -- President George Bush announced this afternoon that the United States will be "much safer in a matter of days" thanks to a compromise among Congressional leaders on the far-reaching intelligence reform bill. "Passage of this bill means that Congress can adjourn for the year," said President Bush. "Americans can sleep at night knowing that the hands of lawmakers will be in their own pockets for a few weeks, thereby protecting the blessings of liberty for citizens of this great land." According to a Congressional insider, negotiators overcame the objections of several House leaders by "making the language in the bill specific enough so that everyone who votes for it can claim to have made America safer, and yet vague enough so that nothing really changes." The bill is officially known as the Incumbent Legislator Safeguard Act of 2004. Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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