November 13, 2004
Goss Bringing CIA Chaos Under Control by Scott Ott (2004-11-13) -- J. Porter Goss, the new director of the CIA, today denied reports that the agency's leadership is in chaos, and promised he would bring things under control soon. "My top leaders actually love me so much they bought me a dozen roses," Mr. Goss said, then added, "Would you believe a corsage of carnations? How about a water-squirting boutonniere?" Mr. Goss has reportedly apologized to President George Bush for the missteps which have already led to the resignations of top CIA leaders. "I told the president, 'Sorry about that, chief,'" he said. "To avoid further embarrassment, until the transition is complete I've imposed a cone of silence over the agency, forbidding employees from speaking with reporters." The news conference ended abruptly when Mr. Goss's shoe apparently began to ring and he hastily left the podium, bumping into a bulletproof glass wall on the way out of the room. President Bush, when asked if he still had confidence that he had picked the right man as director of central intelligence, held up his thumb and forefinger and said, "Missed it by that much." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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