Early Numbers Show Nearly 100 Percent Exit Polls
by Scott Ott

(2004-11-02) -- Early numbers from across the nation indicate that Americans are leaving voting precincts in huge numbers.

"While the mainstream media is abuzz with stories of huge voter turnout," said an unnamed pollster, "that's only half of the story. We're finding that as many people are going away from the polls as are coming toward them."

According to the source, preliminary results show more than 99 percent of voters exit polls.

A spokesman for the Kerry-Edwards campaign said the early figures bode well for the Democrat ticket.

"Sen. Kerry is a man with a plan and an exit strategy," the source said, "and his supporters are following his example today. Voters are moving in a new direction."

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