by Scott Ott
(2004-10-26) -- An attorney for the The New York Times today blamed yesterday's false story--suggesting President George Bush lost 377 tons of Iraqi explosives--on "an attack of acid reflux."
The incident marks the second time in a week that a major performance was interrupted by the gastric disorder--the first being Ashlee Simpson's appearance on Saturday Night Live.
"Rather than criticize the Times for this embarassing episode," the unnamed attorney said, "Americans should express their sympathy because the venerable 'Gray Lady' suffers the ravages of acid reflux."
Meanwhile, the CBS News magazine '60 Minutes' plans to report Sunday night that the missing explosives may have been hidden underneath President Bush's suit jacket , creating the mysterious lump in the middle of his back during the first presidential debate.
"We would like to have all the facts before we report this," said a spokesman for CBS, "but then Matt Drudge will beat us to the punch. So, we're going for it. As Dan Rather once said, 'Courage means never having to say you're sorry'."
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