September 30, 2004
Kerry Called Up in Draft, Misses Debate by Scott Ott (2004-09-30) -- Democrat candidate John Forbes Kerry announced this afternoon that he can not attend this evening's presidential debate because he has been drafted into the Army. The drafting of Mr. Kerry confirmed rumors circulating via email and CBS News that the Bush administration has a secret plan to reinstitute military conscription. "I was eager to debate George W. Bush, but I got my draft notice in the mail late this morning," said Mr. Kerry, a professional Vietnam veteran who is also a U.S. Senator. "I defended this country as a young man in Vietnam and I will defend this country again as a slightly older, but athletic, buff and tan man." Meanwhile, conservative bloggers have challenged the authenticity of the Kerry draft notice document, alleging that it appears to have been typed on a 1960s-era typewriter and is "slathered with Whiteout." CBS News reporter Dan Rather, however, said independent handwriting experts had confirmed its authenticity, "although my word should be adequate to erase any credibility questions." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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