by Scott Ott
(2004-08-25) -- President George Bush today mobilized Army National Guard units nationwide to confiscate copies of Unfit for Command, the controversial anti-Kerry book by Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
The move comes in response to demands by former Sen. Max Cleland and former Army Green Beret Jim Rassman, whose life was saved by John Forbes Kerry during the Vietnam War. Mr. Kerry is a well-known presidential candidate, Vietnam veteran and also a U.S. Senator.
"As commander in chief, my first duty is to protect our homeland," said Mr. Bush in a brief televised statement to the nation. "I have ordered infantry and mechanized divisions to take up positions at all Barnes and Noble stores and other brick-and-mortar book retailers and warehouses. They will neutralize all existing stocks of this dangerous volume and interdict supply lines to prevent further shipments."
Mr. Bush said he has also ordered the FBI to divert internet sales so that customers who order Unfit for Command through Amazon.com will instead receive a book which is "certifiably true."
Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Editor's Picks
