July 27, 2004
Heinz-Kerry Speech Gives Campaign a Shove by Scott Ott (2004-07-27) -- When asked by a reporter what she hoped to do for her husband's presidential candidacy during her speech at the Democrat convention tonight, Teresa Heinz-Kerry said, "Shove it." Indeed experts agree that, with flagging poll numbers, John Forbes Kerry's campaign could use a shove. According to DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe, Mrs. Heinz-Kerry's "totally unscripted, candid, improvised, shoot-from-the-hip remarks" will be the highlight of the convention and should boost the TV audience to levels comparable to "some of your better home shopping programs and C-Span events." "With a personality like Teresa at his side, John Kerry doesn't even need one of his own," said Mr. McAuliffe. "She demonstrates the kind of attitude which the Heinz-Kerry White House will use to restore the bonds of friendship and civility between the U.S. and the rest of the United Nations." The party chairman added, "America loves a First Lady who always says the first thing that comes to her mind, often before that thing even arrives." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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