May 25, 2004
Bush Vows to Raze Abu Ghraib, Build Sam's Club by Scott Ott (2004-05-25) -- In a televised address to the nation last night, U.S. President George Bush vowed to end Iraq's long national nightmare by tearing down Abu Ghraib prison, Saddam Hussein's correctional facility which U.S. military personnel turned into a "house of horrors". The president said the site would become home to a wholesale outlet district, anchored by a Sam's Club store. "Of course, we have no interest in occupation or in making Iraqis into Americans," said Mr. Bush. "So after an appropriate transitional period of a year or so, the Sam's Club will be under Iraqi management." Mr. Bush named Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez as the store's transitional manager. The general promised to implement strict hiring and training policies to prevent the kinds of abuses that happened at Abu Ghraib. However, he acknowledged that everyone in the facility will be photographed and forced to wander over vast expanses of concrete searching for food, clothing and other essentials. "That's not abuse," he said. "That's just the nature of business." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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