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March 31, 2004
Kennedy, Daschle Fined for Celebration Over Rice Testimony
by Scott Ott

(2004-03-31) -- Senators Edward M. Kennedy and Tom Daschle face stiff fines for their "excessive celebration" over news that the Bush administration had succumbed to pressure to allow National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice to testify under oath before the 9/11 commission.

A little-known Senate rule, similar to one used by the National Football League, prohibits "excessive, prolonged and premeditated celebrations by Senators," and levies heavy fines for violations.

"Rather than politely welcoming the Bush decision to allow Rice to testify," said an unnamed expert, "Kennedy and Daschle did a virtual Snoopy-dance in front of the reporters. The Senate is supposed to be the more deliberative body of the bicameral legislature. Daschle and Kennedy are out there high-fiving each other, doing that break-dance head-spin thing and simulating two-handed pistol fire. What kind of example is that to set for junior Senators like John Kerry and Hillary Clinton?"

A spokesman for Mr. Kennedy said that he "merely knelt and made the sign of the cross," and that the dancing was actually "an ancient Celtic tradition which is protected as religious speech under the Constitution."

However Mr. Daschle's office acknowledged that, upon hearing the news, the Senate Minority Leader had "leaped into the mosh pit of reporters and was passed around over their heads for some appropriate interval."

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