February 15, 2004
Dean Claims Scandal Will Rock His Campaign Too by Scott Ott (2004-02-15) -- After losing the Nevada and Washington D.C. caucuses Saturday to Democrat presidential frontrunner John F. Kerry, former frontrunner Howard Dean today announced that his campaign would soon "implode over a scandal." The announcement came as Mr. Kerry continued to "generate buzz" with his denial of allegations of marital infidelity, a Vietnam-era photo of him with Jane Fonda and an old newspaper interview in which a young Mr. Kerry called for U.S. troops to be placed solely under U.N. command. Mr. Dean has yet to win a single primary or caucus, while Mr. Kerry has won 14 of 16 contests. "I'm about to implode over some sort of scandal too," said Mr. Dean at a campaign stop in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. "Although we don't yet know what that scandal will be, we're digging for dirt on me right now. We're hoping for some sort of a moral failure." Although the scandal has not yet emerged, the Dean campaign immediately released the text of a "pre-emptive denial" which the candidate will issue on Don Imus' radio talkshow. "There is nothing to report," Dean will tell Imus. "So there is nothing to talk about. I'm not worried about it. No." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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