by Scott Ott
(2004-02-13) -- President George Bush told a friend yesterday that he supports a ban on "same-sex eunuchs," according to a member of the White House press corps who claims to have overheard the conversation.
"Mr. Bush told an old family friend, 'We need to stop these same-sex eunuchs'," the unnamed journalist said. "Of course, since I only overheard it, he might have really meant 'UNIX', the computer operating system. But I think it was 'eunuchs'."
The revelation comes a day after the mayor of San Francisco violated California law by permitting a city official to grant so-called "marriage" licenses to a dozen homosexual couples. Meanwhile, the Massachusetts legislature debated a ban on homosexual marriage in the wake of a state Supreme Judicial Court ruling demanding not only equal treatment of homosexual unions, but also the use of the word 'marriage' to describe the category.
The White House released a statement on the report which said:
"The president does not oppose eunuchs, or UNIX. However, he can understand the confusion over words. After all...Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
-- 'Gay' used to mean happy.
-- A fun 'same-sex' activity would be something like football or quilting.
-- A 'civil union' was a non-violent organized labor group,
-- and 'marriage' was a sacred bond, ordained by God, which united one man and one woman for life."
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