ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Dean: Celebrate 2,000th Iraq Death with Dignity
:: Bush: Miers Views Not Clouded by Legal Scholarship
:: CNN Poll: Bush Would Lose Election or Be Arrested
:: Iraq Constitution Approval Another Setback for Bush
:: Sen. Coburn Offers Compromise 'Bridge to Everywhere'
:: NY Times Editor Vows Not to Be Distracted by Scandal
:: Exiled Rove Will Volunteer to Think for Bush
:: Spotlight on Miers' 'Inadequate and Insulting' Answers
:: Citing Privacy Right, Miers Rejects Roe Questions
:: Republicans to Cut Spending, Dems Back Abortion Ban
Scott Ott Premiere Speakers Bureau
Scott Ott Speaks
to Your Organization

February 08, 2004
Kerry's Inevitability Index Hits 'Deanish' Level
by Scott Ott

(2004-02-08) -- Presidential contender John F. Kerry's Inevitability Index hovered around 90 percent, up 10 points after yesterday's victories over Dennis Kucinich and Al Sharpton in the Washington and Michigan caucuses.

The Inevitably Index is an aggregate percentage derived from media reports which portray a candidate as the "frontrunner," "dominating," "unstoppable," or "the presumptive nominee."

"A score of 90 on the Inevitability Index would put Kerry ahead of where both Clinton and Carter were at this point in their races," said an unnamed spokesman for the National Organization of Journalists Assessing Candidate Capability (NOJACC). "Everytime a news story portrays his campaign as a juggernaut , Kerry becomes that much more juggernautical. It's eerily Howard Deanish."

Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):