February 01, 2004
Devil Wins Hajj Battle Again, 244 Trampled to Death by Scott Ott (2004-02-01) -- In the annual contest between stone pillars symbolizing the devil and thousands of devoted stone-throwing Muslims, the devil won again this year as at least 244 pilgrims died of trampling during the Hajj (pilgrimage) to Mecca. "We were disorganized and Satan came ready to play," said an unnamed Imam speaking for Allah, the official deity of Islam. "We threw everything we had at him and those stone pillars are none the worse for the attack. But hundreds of our people are dead, or on the injured reserve list. Ultimately, you have to blame leadership. Allah and his preachers take personal responsibility for the loss." The Imam said the loss will not affect his mission "to propagate the deep truths of our religion so that all citizens of earth can benefit from the peaceful, intellectual and spiritual teachings of Islam." "I know it's a cliché," he added. "But we'll go back to the films and the playbook, make some adjustments and next year we'll be back to rock the Hajj." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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