by Scott Ott
(2004-01-20) -- Less than a day after Democrat presidential candidate Howard Dean motivated his followers with an aggressive screeching noise, President George Bush plans to use a similar tactic in tonight's State of the Union address, according to a senior administration official.
"Howard's non-syllabic verbal flourish put his opponents on notice and set a new standard for statesman-like oratory," said the unnamed official. "During the foreign policy segment of tonight's address, the President will cut loose with a Dean-like jurassic screech that will set your hair on end. I've heard him do it in rehearsal, and it will definitely tell the terrorists that America is a force to be reckoned with. Our Commander-in-Chief is one tough velociraptor."
Upon hearing the news, Mr. Dean said, "George Bush has to imitate me just to look presidential. What a phoney!"
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