ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Dean: Celebrate 2,000th Iraq Death with Dignity
:: Bush: Miers Views Not Clouded by Legal Scholarship
:: CNN Poll: Bush Would Lose Election or Be Arrested
:: Iraq Constitution Approval Another Setback for Bush
:: Sen. Coburn Offers Compromise 'Bridge to Everywhere'
:: NY Times Editor Vows Not to Be Distracted by Scandal
:: Exiled Rove Will Volunteer to Think for Bush
:: Spotlight on Miers' 'Inadequate and Insulting' Answers
:: Citing Privacy Right, Miers Rejects Roe Questions
:: Republicans to Cut Spending, Dems Back Abortion Ban
 Scott Ott Premiere Speakers Bureau
Scott Ott Speaks
to Your Organization

January 19, 2004
Dean to Iowa: 'Shut Up, You Gun-Toting Homophobes'
by Scott Ott

(2004-01-19) -- With the characteristic charm that earned him the love and respect of roughly 18 percent of Iowa Democrats, presidential candidate Howard Dean bid the state farewell as he stepped onto his private jet tonight.

"Shut up, you gun-toting, God-fearing homophobes," Mr. Dean said to a cheering crowd of Iowa Democrats. "Your caucus is a meaningless exercise dominated by extremist special interests just like I said on Canadian TV years ago."

Mr. Dean's aides said their candidate plans to "ride the wave" of his third-place Iowa finish on to "a decent showing" in New Hampshire.

"We're just so relieved to be out from under the burden of that 'frontrunner' label," said an unnamed Dean aide.

Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):