ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Dean: Celebrate 2,000th Iraq Death with Dignity
:: Bush: Miers Views Not Clouded by Legal Scholarship
:: CNN Poll: Bush Would Lose Election or Be Arrested
:: Iraq Constitution Approval Another Setback for Bush
:: Sen. Coburn Offers Compromise 'Bridge to Everywhere'
:: NY Times Editor Vows Not to Be Distracted by Scandal
:: Exiled Rove Will Volunteer to Think for Bush
:: Spotlight on Miers' 'Inadequate and Insulting' Answers
:: Citing Privacy Right, Miers Rejects Roe Questions
:: Republicans to Cut Spending, Dems Back Abortion Ban
Scott Ott Premiere Speakers Bureau
Scott Ott Speaks
to Your Organization

January 17, 2004
Iowa Couple 'Absolutely On Fire' for Kerry
by Scott Ott

(2004-01-17) -- An Iowa man and his wife, who plan to participate in Monday's Democrat caucuses, said today they're "absolutely on fire for John F. Kerry."

"He stirs our zeal and fills us with a vision for a better America," said the unnamed man, as his wife nodded enthusiastically. "We haven't seen the likes of Kerry's charisma from a presidential candidate in a generation or more. We're really stoked. Attending his campaign events is like seeing the Beatles in concert."

While they couldn't nail down exactly what "electrifies" them about Mr. Kerry, they agreed that his stage presence "never fails to captivate us."

"He holds the audience in the palm of his hand," said the man. "We're energized by his ideas and simply blown away by his dynamic oratory."

The middle-aged couple said they were hoping to get Mr. Kerry's autograph "while he's still on the way up, before he becomes bigger than the Beatles."

Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):