by Scott Ott
(2004-01-09) -- Democrat presidential candidate Howard Dean today announced that "the Lord" told him last night the same thing He told Pat Robertson last week -- that George Bush would win re-election in a "blowout".
"Imagine my surprise," said Mr. Dean. "The last time the Lord told me anything, he said that homosexual unions should be legal because if homosexual behavior was a sin, God wouldn't have created gay people. Then last night, I was praying after reading Job in the New Testament, and the Lord told me that my campaign would not have a happy ending like the one that was tacked onto Job years after it was written."
"Apparently, from a religious point of view," Mr. Dean said, "if God had thought the Democrats should win, he would not have created George Bush."
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