by Scott Ott
(2004-01-07) -- A new bill introduced by Congressional Democrats would increase funding for public schools to help fight the effects of the so-called 'S factor', a recently-discovered phenomenon which results in President George Bush's high popularity ratings despite his well-known miserable failures at home and abroad.
The bill would create a program called 'No Child Be Left Right' which would, according to sponsors, "ensure that young Americans are smart enough to avoid the hazards of conservative ideology which have led so many to tragically support Mr. Bush."
Despite more than 40 years of Democrat education policy and instruction by the liberal union members, the majority of Americans still "cannot understand the phenomenon of cause and effect", according to Neal Starkman, whose research on the 'S factor' was published in a recent issue of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
"They're perplexed by issues comprising more than two sides," Mr. Starkman wrote of S factor sufferers. "They don't have the wherewithal to expand the sources of their information. And above all -- far above all -- they don't think."
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