(2003-12-16) -- The United States today admitted to allegations by a Vatican official that Saddam Hussein was treated like a cow after his capture Saturday, but a Pentagon spokesman said it was done for the good of U.S. taxpayers.

Cardinal Renato Martino, head of the Vatican's Justice and Peace department, said yesterday that he felt compassion for Mr. Hussein when he saw the video of a military physician "looking at his teeth as if he were a cow."

"What's wrong with treating him like a cow?" the unnamed Pentagon spokesman asked. "We were just trying to recoup some of the cost of acquiring Saddam by using him to produce something of value. Sadly, his production has been disappointing -- he's virtually dried up. And he's too old to fetch a good price at auction. Right now, we're looking at a big heap of bologna."