(2003-11-25) -- The Roman Catholic Church in America announced today that it needs more lawyers to defend itself against allegations of sexual abuse by priests, and coverups by bishops.

In a help wanted advertisment placed in papers around the nation, the Church said it specifically seeks attorneys with a lack of experience.

"We're looking for top-notch legal minds who have a sense of compassion," said a spokesman for the Galveston-Houston Diocese. "We need lawyers who can empathize with a man who has suffered 20 years of guilt, shame and thoughts of suicide...and then tell him that the Church is willing to pay for a few months of counseling if only he will sign a confidentiality agreement."

The Church is not looking for "experience in this field," he said. "In other words, lawyers who are themselves victims of priestly molestation need not apply."

The spokesman acknowledged that it may have to hire "outside of the faith" in order to find enough lawyers who are "suitably compassionate and inexperienced."