(2003-11-13) -- Federal agents raided the Bentonville, Ark., headquarters of Wal-Mart today and took into custody 37 illegal aliens whom they described as "migrant accountants." The arrests came as Wal-Mart anounced third quarter earnings slightly below analysts expectations despite strong sales.

"When we saw the Q3 numbers, we suspected something," said an unnamed spokesman for the Federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement Office. "So we busted into the accounting department, and sure enough -- it was nothing but undocumented Mexicans from accounts receivable all the way to accounts payable. Every morning they've been hauling in loads of them in pickup trucks."

A spokesman for Wal-Mart said the accountants all came from a temp agency. An attorney representing the migrant Mexican accountants immediately filed a class action lawsuit against Wal-Mart, accusing the giant retailer of "offering the migrants a substandard Employee Stock Ownership Plan and mandating a oppressive office dress code."