(2003-11-11) -- The government of Saudi Arabia today applied for a full refund from al Qaeda, the social services network, claiming bait-and-switch tactics had cheated it out of its investment.

"The service is not performing as advertised," said an unnamed spokesman for the Saudi government. "This is a breach of contract. Al Qaeda was not supposed to deliver its services on Saudi soil, among our Muslim brothers. We paid for one thing, and we got something else. We demand restitution."

A customer service representative for al Qaeda said, "We're sorry if we caused any inconvenience to Saudi Arabia, and we'll be glad to refund the full amount, less shipping and handling, as soon as they present the receipt."