(2003-11-03) – The average numbers of fingers, ears and tongues per Iraqi citizen have all increased in the months following the overthrow of Saddam Hussein. The Iraqi Ministry of Health reports that among the nation's 22 million citizens the number of fingers per capita is now up to 6.8, ears have increased to an average of 1.75 per person, and there are .89 intact tongues for every man, woman and child in Iraq.

This is the first official release of a body-part count since U.S. President George Bush announced the end of major combat operations in Iraq on May 1 from the deck of an aircraft carrier standing in front of a banner which read: "Mission Accomplished."

Experts attribute the average increases to a combination of natural population growth and a sharp decrease in the number of fingers, ears and tongues being cut off by Saddam Hussein's agents.