(2003-10-23) -- Federal agents raided Wal-Mart stores in 21 states intending to arrest 60 illegal aliens, but instead they left the stores with 300.

"You know how it is with Wal-Mart," said an unnamed spokesman from the federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement office. "You go in there to buy some toilet paper and a jug of milk, and you wind up with a full cart. If we'd have sent our wives on these raids, they would have arrested 900 illegals."