(2003-10-21) -- In a surprise announcement today, CBS Chairman Les Moonves said his network's movie "The Reagans" will be followed by another presidential biopic, "The Clintons."

Shooting has already commenced on a script that presents "a balanced view" of the Clinton years, similar to the unbiased presentation of Ronald and Nancy Reagan described in today's New York Times. Both biopics will run on CBS during the November ratings sweeps.

Al Franken and Barbra Streisand will star as The Clintons, with Janeane Garofalo as Chelsea and Sean Penn, in a whimsical role, as Sox the Presidential cat. Academy Award-winning documentarist Michael Moore will direct.

Mr. Moonves said that despite the well-known liberal leanings of the cast and crew, "the biopic will be a historically accurate story."

"This was very important for me, to document everything and give a very fair point of view," said Mr. Moonves.

The Times 'acquired' a copy of the final shooting script for The Clintons. Here are some of the key scenes in this "utterly objective" movie:
-- Hillary Clinton (Barbra Streisand) gulps for air as her husband tells her about how Monica Lewinsky is part of a "vast rightwing conspiracy."
-- In a tearful scene, the President (Al Franken) admits that a childhood fear of analgesics led him to order the bombing of an aspirin factory.
-- Newt Gingrich (Carrot Top) sneaks into the White House, under cover of darkness, and hides the billing records from the Rose Law Firm to embarrass the First Lady.
-- Bill Clinton gulps for air as his wife tells him that a vast rightwing conspiracy has scuttled their dream of a government-run universal healthcare program.
-- Mr. Clinton urgently and repeatedly warns his successor, George W. Bush (Will Ferrell), about the danger posed by Osama Bin Laden's al Qaeda terror network.
-- The people of South Korea kneel before a statue of Mr. Clinton and former President Jimmy Carter, honoring them for ridding the Korean peninsula of nuclear weapons forever.
-- Israelis and Palestinians join hands by the thousands and sing "God Bless America," in gratitude for the Clinton-brokered peace accords which finally brought security to the Middle East.