(2003-10-20) -- Just one week after the Malaysian Prime Minister declared that "Jews rule the world by proxy", the Jews today ordered the United Nations to outlaw the speaking or writing of Malaysia's official language, Bahasa Melayu.

The U.N. mandate overturns Article 152 of the Malaysian constitution which established Bahasa Melayu has the unquestionable national language.

Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad will have no comment on the new global law until he completes a 13-week course called 'Hebrew as a Second Language'.