(2003-10-08) -- Capturing the magic of media synergy which has made AOL Time Warner the entertainment colossus of the new millenium, General Electric and Vivendi today announced the merger of NBC Television with Vivendi's Universal Studios and cable channels.

"We'll increase revenue by $100 million and decrease expenses by $350 million," said an NBC spokesman. "We're going to be another Wall Street darling, just like AOL Time Warner."

The new NBC Universal will produce better entertainment than anyone in the world, the spokesman added.

"There's something about the adrenaline rush of a big merger, and the acquisition of $1.7 billion in debt that spurs creativity in everyone from the accountants and lawyers, to the HR people who will handle the outplacement interviews," she said. "I can already hear the applause and laughter."