ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Dean: Celebrate 2,000th Iraq Death with Dignity
:: Bush: Miers Views Not Clouded by Legal Scholarship
:: CNN Poll: Bush Would Lose Election or Be Arrested
:: Iraq Constitution Approval Another Setback for Bush
:: Sen. Coburn Offers Compromise 'Bridge to Everywhere'
:: NY Times Editor Vows Not to Be Distracted by Scandal
:: Exiled Rove Will Volunteer to Think for Bush
:: Spotlight on Miers' 'Inadequate and Insulting' Answers
:: Citing Privacy Right, Miers Rejects Roe Questions
:: Republicans to Cut Spending, Dems Back Abortion Ban
Scott Ott Premiere Speakers Bureau
Scott Ott Speaks
to Your Organization

September 15, 2003
Isabel Declares Candidacy for Democrat Nomination
by Scott Ott

(2003-09-15) -- Hurricane Isabel this morning declared her candidacy for the Democrat nomination for President of the United States. According to a CNN poll, Isabel's name recognition exceeds that of all nine existing candidates combined, plus Wesley Clark.

With winds of 150 mph, and gusts over 200 mph, Isabel said she has what it takes to rally the Democrat faithful.

Aiming for the White House, the candidate may first sweep through the south calling for a huge influx of federal government funding and social services.

"Then she'll hit Pennsylvania with a call for new jobs in the housing and public utility sectors," said an unnamed campaign spokesman. "And you'll finally see the word 'recovery' in the headlines."

Isabel's spokesman said no other candidate is in her category.

"She's not afraid to make waves," he said. "Democrats finally have a candidate that can't be ignored."

Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):