(2003-09-02) -- North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il announced today that he will hold six-way talks with himself later this month.

At the summit, Mr. Kim said he will...
-- lay out his plan to defuse tensions between his country and the United States.
-- threaten to turn America into a lake of sulfuric Jell-O,
-- ask for increased U.S. economic aid,
-- denounce the evils of capitalism,
-- prove that his nuclear technology is only for power generation and
-- announce the test firing of a hydrogen cluster-bomb over Seoul.

Mr. Kim expects no major agreements at the six-way talks, but hopes to lay the foundation for further dialogue.