(2003-07-08) — The American Medical Association (AMA) today endorsed the use of prescription cash as the most effective remedy for pain and suffering.
The announcement comes as the U.S. Senate takes up President Bush’s proposal to cap jury awards in medical malpractice cases.
“Our research shows that when people are injured in an accident, or through physician malpractice, they seek large cash awards for pain and suffering,” said an unnamed AMA spokesman. “So, we now suggest that doctors prescribe cold cash to relieve all kinds of physical and mental anguish. We encourage Congress to include cash in the new Medicare prescription drug plan.”
Studies show that cash becomes an increasingly effective analgesic as the dosage is increased. Side-effects include blurring of vision, myopia, involuntary contraction of the hand muscles, and potential for dependency and addiction. Ask your doctor whether prescription cash is right for you.

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