(2003-06-21) — A 14-year-old Philadelphia boy was treated and released from a hospital this morning after being shot in the chest by a friend who wanted his new copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, according to a news release from Bloomsbury, the publisher of the book.
Physicians say the boy would be dead but the bullet struck the 870-page book first, leaving the child with only minor injuries.
In related news, the publisher also reports that….
- A New Jersey woman has petitioned a state court for permission to marry a copy of the book. “If loving Harry Potter is wrong,” she said, “I don’t want to be right.”
- Hamas, the Palestinian terrorist group, agreed to a 72-hour cease fire with Israel to allow its young homicide bombers time to read the new J.K. Rowling offering.
- Political consultant Dick Morris reports that when he stands on top of a stack of all five Harry Potter books, he’s almost six-feet tall.
- Ozzy Osbourne, the legendary British actor, will release a special audio version of “Order of the Phoenix” later this summer. “He has that gift with the spoken word that reminds us of Sir John Gilgud,” said an unnamed Bloomsbury spokesman.
- Editors in newsrooms around the world voted unanimously to declare that the release of the new Potter book is “the most significant news story of 2003.”

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