(2002-09-13) — Five years after being set free from the tyranny of British rule, the people of Hong Kong are beginning the process that would allow them to enjoy the full benefits of Chinese citizenship.
Rejoicing greeted the news that anti-subversion laws would soon be in place to protect the people of Hong Kong from bad ideas. The mainland Chinese government will free Hong Kong from having to decide which ideas are bad, and fully empower the local government to rid the land of such notions.
“We’re so glad that China is looking out for our best interest,” said Hong Kong’s Secretary for Justice Elsie Leung. “We are busy people and don’t have time to properly cleanse the public square of toxic political, religious and philosophical principles. We look to the great leaders of China to do this. It’s kind of like hiring a gardener to pull weeds.”

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