SCRIPT RIPPED FROM SCOTT OTT’S TELEPROMPTER FOR TODAY’S ‘PJ NEWS BREAK’
SCOTT OTT: It’s Wednesday, March 21st, 2012, and this is news.
A Dutch engineer, Jarno Smeets, this week posted a video to YouTube which appears to show that he accomplished what Leonardo DaVinci only dreamed of, flapping a pair of artificial wings to take flight.
The U.S. Department of Energy immediately announced a 700 million dollar grant to the young man to mass produce the personal flying contraption, helping to reduce U.S. dependence on fossil fuels.
First Lady Michelle Obama said the vigorous physical exertion required to operate the wings could help with her campaign to whip obesity, if the project ever gets off the ground.
The FAA said it would approve the wings for domestic flights if the manufacturer includes a variety of redundant, fail-safe instruments that would add roughly 370 pounds of weight.
Meanwhile the Department of Homeland Security called on citizens to report any sightings of unidentified flapping objects, and allocated 500 million dollars to a weapons system designed to shoot down wing-flapping terrorists.
The Environmental Protection Agency declared winged humans a new, and endangered species, making it unlawful to shoot them.
And an FCC spokesman, said if the bird-man video turns out to be a hoax, it would be a compelling argument for creating a new government entity to fact-check all internet content before it goes online.
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Mitt Romney beat Rick Santorum by 47 to 35 percent in a historically low-turnout Illinois primary yesterday, reaffirming Romney’s inevitability as the Republican party’s nominee.
Just hours later, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said he’s endorsing Romney, after months of wrestling in his mind over who is the most principled Republican candidate. Bush said: “I know I risk offending some of the establishment by coming out for Romney this early in the process, but I have to go with my gut.”
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The White House yesterday tried to moderate enthusiastic remarks by Vice President Biden at a New Jersey fundraiser this week. In praising President Obama’s decision to raid Usama Bin Laden’s compound, Biden said:
“You can go back 500 years. You cannot find a more audacious plan. Never knowing for certain. We never had more than a 48% probability that he was there.”
Presidential spokesman Jay Carney said that while the president made an extraordinarily tough decision, if Bin Laden had not been at the compound in Pakistan, the U.S. still could have announced the Qaeda leader’s death, and claimed to have buried the body at sea.
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And finally today, the White House has now confirmed that presidential daughter Malia Obama is traveling with friends in Oaxaca, Mexico, and is unharmed, after a 7.6 magnitude Mexican earthquake raised concerns about Malia’s safety.
When asked if he thought it was unusual for such a young girl to vacation away from family, White House spokesman Jay Carney said, “Malia is 13. She isn’t vacationing. Her parents are.”
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For PJ News Break, I’m Scott Ott. Click on PJTV dot com three times today for your antidote to the obsolete media.
PJ News Breaks channel on YouTube
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