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Times Square Suspect Shahzad Nails Endorsement Deal

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 24 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2010-05-05) — Faisal Shahzad, the Connecticut resident facing charges related to an attempted bombing in Times Square Saturday, has reportedly secured an endorsement deal that may cover his legal expenses.

Mr. Shahzad, a family man who is also an American citizen, was detained by border enforcement agents after his flight to Dubai had pushed back from the gate Monday night at JFK International Airport. He had apparently passed through the TSA screening process without raising concern. That fact caught the eye of an advertising executive at a Pakistan-based manufacturer of personal hygiene products.

“Faisal Shahzad is the very picture of a clean, fresh-smelling, calm and confident man,” said an unnamed company official. “Here’s a guy on the run from every law enforcement officer in the country, who pays cash for the airplane seat he reserved while driving to the airport, whose name is on the no-fly list — a man who has recently handled gasoline, gunpowder and urea-based fertilizer. And yet he passes through security smelling like a rose. We want him as the spokesman for our body wash.”

The executive described one potential TV ad featuring Mr. Shahzad, in which diligent TSA agents are seen “swabbing Aunt Helga’s antique GAF Viewmaster, and wanding her goiter. Meanwhile. a suave and relaxed Faisal Shahzad hands a wad of cash to the gate agent and strolls down the jetway whistling the distinctive jingle for the company’s body wash.”
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ScrappleFace.com editor Scott Ott is author of the forthcoming book ‘Laughing at Obama: Volume I‘, now available for pre-order.

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Tags: Global News · U.S. News

24 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Fausta’s Blog » Blog Archive » The anything-but-a-radical-Islamist-terrorist terrorist // May 5, 2010 at 11:23 am

    [...] Scrappleface could come to the rescue on that [...]

  • 2 onlineanalyst // May 5, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Wasn't there an old ad for deodorant that advised, "Never let them see you sweat!"? Shazam must have doused himself with it.

    Michelle Malkin has a column today re the ruse of "marrying into citizenship" that has been used by too many of our jihadist invaders: http://michellemalkin.com/2010/05/05/the-jihadist...

  • 3 onlineanalyst // May 5, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Wasn't there an old ad for deodorant that advised, "Never let them see you sweat!"? Shazam must have doused himself with it.

    Michelle Malkin has a column today re the ruse of "marrying into citizenship" that has been used by too many of our jihadist invaders: http://michellemalkin.com/2010/05/05/the-jihadist...

  • 4 onlineanalyst // May 5, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Wasn't there an old ad for deodorant that advised, "Never let them see you sweat!"? Shazam must have doused himself with it.

    Michelle Malkin has a column today re the ruse of "marrying into citizenship" that has been used by too many of our jihadist invaders: http://michellemalkin.com/2010/05/05/the-jihadist...

  • 5 onlineanalyst // May 5, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Wasn't there an old ad for deodorant that advised, "Never let them see you sweat!"? Shazam must have doused himself with it.

    Michelle Malkin has a column today re the ruse of "marrying into citizenship" that has been used by too many of our jihadist invaders: http://michellemalkin.com/2010/05/05/the-jihadist...

  • 6 da Bunny // May 5, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    “diligent TSA agents are seen “swabbing Aunt Helga’s antique GAF Viewmaster, and wanding her goiter…”

    LOL! I just came through Boston Logan last Sat., and I actually SAW that happening. Heh…gonna be laughing at this line all day, Scott!

  • 7 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    Neither this M-88 punk nor the crotch-bomb punk were "thwarted." I know all of you know this, I just felt like saying it.

    Seriously, though:
    Faisal Shahzad seems to be casting aspersions on Connecticut home owners, eh? Typical. Not to mention clean, fresh-smelling family men, American citizens, ViewMasters and goiters. Oh, and rose-scented body wash.

    God Bless America

  • 8 Hawkeye_R // May 5, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    "antique GAF Viewmaster"… now that brings back memories… D'OH! …I'm showing my age.

    (:D)

  • 9 daBunny // May 5, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    This is funny on several levels, Scott. Heh…I wonder if there are ANY "Pakistan based manufacturers of personal hygiene product." Seems sort of an oxymoron there…

  • 10 Hawkeye_R // May 5, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    Shahzad… Shazam… what's the difference.

    (:D)

  • 11 Hawkeye_R // May 5, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    "antique GAF Viewmaster"… now that brings back memories… D'OH! …I'm showing my age.

    (:D)

  • 12 Hawkeye_R // May 5, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    "antique GAF Viewmaster"… now that brings back memories… D'OH! …I'm showing my age.

    (:D)

  • 13 onlineanalyst // May 6, 2010 at 12:13 am

    Words do matter, but it appears that neither the O-administration nor the media want to identify the "elephant in the room." Daniel Pipes explores the issue, citing several news headlines: http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MTU3Yzk4...

  • 14 onlineanalyst // May 6, 2010 at 12:13 am

    Words do matter, but it appears that neither the O-administration nor the media want to identify the "elephant in the room." Daniel Pipes explores the issue, citing several news headlines: http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MTU3Yzk4...

  • 15 camojack // May 6, 2010 at 2:01 am

    “Faisal Shahzad is the very picture of a clean, fresh-smelling, calm and confident man,” said an unnamed company official.

    OK, so he looks clean. Is he articulate, though? Inquiring minds, an' all…

  • 16 Probe Covers for SureTemp Plus 690 and 692, 250/BOX | Health Life // May 6, 2010 at 1:14 am

    [...] Times Square Suspect Shahzad Nails Endorsement Deal [...]

  • 17 Times Square car bomb: Pakistan holds family of alleged attacker | Karen Hanover and DC Fawcett's Commercial Foreclosure Goldrush // May 6, 2010 at 1:47 am

    [...] Times Square Suspect Shahzad Nails Endorsement Deal [...]

  • 18 camojack // May 6, 2010 at 2:01 am

    “Faisal Shahzad is the very picture of a clean, fresh-smelling, calm and confident man,” said an unnamed company official.

    OK, so he looks clean. Is he articulate, though? Inquiring minds, an' all…

  • 19 5942marine // May 6, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    We'll, hopefully he gets life in prison, so he can kiss that endorsement good bye!
    http://www.politicalwind.net

  • 20 5942marine // May 6, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    We'll, hopefully he gets life in prison, so he can kiss that endorsement good bye!
    http://www.politicalwind.net

  • 21 boberin // May 6, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    I can't shake the line…"this is Henry GAF Fonda" here…

  • 22 boberin // May 6, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    I can't shake the line…"this is Henry GAF Fonda" here…

  • 23 speedy // May 6, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    [...] “Times Square Suspect Shahzad Nails Endorsement Deal” and related posts (scrappleface.com) [...]

  • 24 highmigh // Sep 3, 2010 at 7:55 am

    Such a wonderful topic for me…………………………………………..
    LeanSpa Acai

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