(2003-02-09) — U.S. President George W. Bush has withdrawn his original 5-volume budget proposal to Congress, and resubmitted the spending plan as a 5-page document.
“The old budget fight was gearing up again…you know the annual ritual,” said Mr. Bush. “I got to thinking ‘Why waste time scrappin’ over how we spend other people’s money?’ So I read the Constitution again, then wrote this new plan.”
The new budget proposal has four elements:
1) Provide for the common defense: Fund the U.S. military to protect against international threats.
2) Promote the general welfare: Slash taxes to a level sufficient to fund item #1.
3) Secure the blessings of liberty: Set people free from bondage to the Federal government. Eliminate all Federal agencies designed to “help” people, which ultimately create dependency on an impersonal, centralized bureaucracy. Eliminate Federal requirements on local schools, and Federal funding.
4) Send Congress home: Reduce the Congressional session to 30 days per year, and as needed for emergencies. Cut Congressional salaries to match the level of a Wal-Mart People Greeter.
“I feel confident we will meet our constitutional obligations with this budget,” said the President. “Plus we’ll allow people to experience something they haven’t tasted in more than 100 years…freedom.”
Congressional Democrats said they would respond to the President’s plan later this week after they took time to research “this Constitution thing to which the President’s budget refers.”

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