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Couric to Lead Obama’s New Elite Interrogation Unit

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 40 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

ScrappleFace editor Scott Ott writes a twice-weekly satire column for The Washington Examiner. Here’s a brief excerpt of his latest and a link to read the rest.


A new “elite interrogation unit”, that President Barack Obama has appointed to quiz terrorism detainees, will apparently be run by CBS News anchor Katie Couric, rather than the Central Intelligence Agency.

If the report from anonymous sources proves accurate, the former NBC “Today” hostess, would head up the High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group, or HIG, under the president’s National Security Council. Detainee-questioning sessions would be filmed before a live studio audience in Burbank, California.
READ THE REST AT The Washington Examiner

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40 responses so far ↓

  • 1 onlineanalyst // Aug 25, 2009 at 11:53 am

    The bread and circuses of the Obama administration continues. The shallow but dangerous administration is propped up by the easily amused peanut gallery of the sycophantic media.

    Will Couric outsource her questions to Sam Nunn? Will Charles Gibson dial up the serious meter of the proceedings by wearing his glasses at half mast and scowling?

  • 2 onlineanalyst // Aug 25, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    I would rather be drubbed with a rubber hose than be interviewed by the likes of Joy Behar or the overrated Barbara Walters.

    High-value terrorist detainess should be the purview of the nominally objective security professionals in the CIA, not the partisan appointees of any administration.

    The overreach of this administration is just one more arrow against our nation's security in its defiance of checks and balances. The absurdity of the Present!-dent's plans is equal to your satire of your comment, Scott. Well done indeed.

  • 3 boberinyetagain // Aug 25, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    Will there be lovely parting gifts involved?

  • 4 boberinyetagain // Aug 25, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    Johhny, tell them what they've won!

  • 5 ChileSerrano // Aug 25, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    A Joy Behar interview ?

    Wouldn't that be a violation of the Geneva Convention ?

  • 6 boberinyetagain // Aug 25, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    Seems better behaved today…we'll see when more comments hit. The second page seems to mess with it…

  • 7 Mushing fot the GOP // Aug 25, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Sarah Palin is the Joan of Arc for our times. Never have we seen her like in America. She doesn't need to read or know much so long as she continues to listen to her voices. Sarah Palin for president.

  • 8 ChileSerrano // Aug 25, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    " fot " ???

    What ?

  • 9 Mushing fot the GOP // Aug 25, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    " fot " ???

    An Eskaleut word for female lead dog.

  • 10 Darthmeister // Aug 25, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    I wonder if in her new position the "perky" Katie Couric will introduce colonoscopies as a politically correct form of enhanced interrogation techniques?

    Obama's human rights failure.

  • 11 MoMadeMeDoIt // Aug 25, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    Bob Herbert of the New York Times inadvertantly makes it real clear how the left looks at the WoT :

    Most Americans have conveniently put these two absurd, obscene conflicts out of their minds. There’s an economy to worry about and snappy little messages to tweet. Nobody wants to think about young people getting their faces or their limbs blown off.

    President Obama can make the claim, as he did before the V.F.W. recently, that the war in Afghanistan " … is fundamental to the defense of our people … " ; good luck convincing his base !

    The Ultimate Burden by Bob Herbert.

  • 12 MoMadeMeDoIt // Aug 25, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    Bob Herbert of the New York Times inadvertently makes it real clear how the left looks at the WoT :

    Most Americans have conveniently put these two absurd, obscene conflicts out of their minds. There’s an economy to worry about and snappy little messages to tweet. Nobody wants to think about young people getting their faces or their limbs blown off.

    President Obama can make the claim, as he did before the V.F.W. recently, that the war in Afghanistan " … is fundamental to the defense of our people … " ; good luck convincing his base !

    The Ultimate Burden by Bob Herbert.

  • 13 Dr. Dumpmeister // Aug 25, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Darthmeister,

    We have been looking for a challenging subject for testing. Would you consider you consider volunteering?

  • 14 Everstink // Aug 25, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    IntenseDebate motto: New Tools For Trolls!

  • 15 The Inimitable // Aug 25, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    Ah, so it is!

  • 16 Dumbyah // Aug 25, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    "I would rather be drubbed with a rubber hose than be interviewed by the likes of Joy Behar or the overrated Barbara Walters."

    I think yer safe there, Wacky.

  • 17 DaveB // Aug 25, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    When they REALLY want to get tough they bring in Larry King.

  • 18 boberinyetagain // Aug 25, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    Dave, there are limits!

  • 19 gafisher // Aug 25, 2009 at 7:16 pm

    The only serious interrogation Katie Couric ever did began "Mirror, mirror on the wall …"

  • 20 Klondike Kate // Aug 25, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Yeah, just look at those trick questions she threw at Governor Palin! I'd like to see somebody ask Couric what she reads! I bet she'd change her tune then.

    Just wait till Putin rears his ugly head, now that she's gone, what will those stupid liberals do?
    I bet they'll change their tune. Then, you just watch that stubby Katie Couric jump on our Conservative Swiftboat Ironclad.

  • 21 RAM1 // Aug 25, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    Dang! And I was hoping it would be Chrissy Matthews. Instead of "water boarding" the "enemy" he could have "tingled" them into a confession.

    Then again, Obama or Pelosi would be good information gatherers. Simply having to LISTEN to their rhetoric for a short while would be so torturous that ANYONE would spill their guts to make them stop!

    With Pelosi there is also that threat of being injured by those erratic, bizarre hand movements, or worse yet, that she might "come on" to them.

  • 22 Darthmeister // Aug 26, 2009 at 1:49 am

    Anytime Dumpmeister. Why don't you drop by sometime, I'm sure you'd be interested in my two colleagues, Smith & Wesson.

    Just like a closet fascist like you to suggest a law-abiding, mainstream American be waterboarded so twits like you can make a worthless partisan point. Think about it you ignorant Obamabot.

  • 23 SanFranNan // Aug 26, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Scrapplers please be careful. I have kept some of the more bizarre left wing kooks locked up in my dungeon, but they have somehow escaped and have infected this website.

    If you come across any of them, do not try to engage them. They grow when they are responded to.

    If you want to know how looney they are, just remember I, SanFranNan, called them "bizarre left wing kooks".

  • 24 Darthmeister // Aug 26, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Ted Kennedy has died … Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.

    Ted Kennedy was the poster boy for redemption by liberal politics — the sense that many on the left have that no matter how badly they behave personally, they have a claim on virtue because they support liberal policies.from AmericanThinker blog.

  • 25 RIP Teddy // Aug 26, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    And you, Darthmeister, are stereotypical of the ignorant and deceitful face of conservative politics!

    Tim McVeigh could not be reached for comment.

  • 26 NurMahal // Aug 26, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    Fascinating!

  • 27 WhizBang // Aug 26, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    Smith & Wesson eh Darthmeister ? Are they your personal mental health counselors ?

  • 28 Dr. Dumpmeister // Aug 27, 2009 at 2:22 am

    Please, that's Dr. Dumpmeister to you!

  • 29 Darthmeister // Aug 27, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Worse and worser. Every single proposal from this President makes the budget outlook worse. Much worse. Unprecedented in peacetime worse. Third World basket case, debtor-nation, worse.

    After conservatives' many pre-election warnings that Barack Hussein Obama was an empty suited socialist who will wreck this country's economy, military preparedness and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in Afghanistan, Bush-haters will owe America an apology.

    WhizBang, go take your lithium and get back to us in, oh, the next century. Schizophrenic and multiple personality trolls simply aren't credible any more.

  • 30 Darthmeister // Aug 27, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    More idiocies of the Obamacrats revealed:

    The real winners of "Cash for Clunkers": Toyota, Honda, and Nissan

  • 31 RAM1 // Aug 27, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    Hey Crypt Keeper, does that say "Bella Pelosi" on your avitar?

    It fits!!! :-)

  • 32 RAM1 // Aug 27, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    The trolls are such hypocrites crying about Ted Kennedy's bashers. While I have already said that I take no delight in his death, YOU TROLLS take EVERY chance to laugh and make light of ANY Conservative/Republican/Christian person's death!

    If you are one of the VERY FEW who hasn't, you certainly have not derided any on your side who did!

  • 33 Fred Sinclair // Aug 27, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    "Win one for the Gipper"! now I guess it'll be in the books as "Win one for Teddy"!…… Rush, just now said he's joining his friends across the aisle and endorsing their call to re-name "Obamacare" after Ted Kennedy. I guess now they'll be trying to ram "Teddycare" down our throats. Maybe algore should have won in 2000; he would have been a disasterand Bush ended up being a semi-disaster but after algore, "hope and change" would have been a hard sell. The usurper wouldn't have been able to usurp but now instead of a disaster or a semi-disaster, we have a catastrophe! Teddycare" my left foot!

    Come to think of it, the usurper and my left foot share a commonality; both are infected. I have a bacterial infection - he has a brain infection. Mine is called MRSA, his is called Marxism. As difficult and painful as mine is - I wouldn't trade.

  • 34 RAM1 // Aug 27, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    Yes Darth. And the losers will be the ignorant people who bought cars that cannot afford them and will now be indebted to whoever holds their lien!

    The ones who bought thru GM's financial arm will have Uncle Obama knocking at the door.

    When the economy tanks after this short spike we see now, there are going to be a LOT of people crying!!!

    PS: They are now prepared to roll out the "Cash for Appliances" carrot on a stick plan.

  • 35 Fred Sinclair // Aug 27, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    Wondrous excerpt from "The Patriot Post":

    "When a sports great leaves the game, his team often retires his number, meaning that no subsequent player will wear it again. Given what a giant Kennedy was, wouldn't it be a fitting tribute to leave his seat vacant for good-or at least for as long as the Constitution allows? Nah, maybe not, but it makes more sense than ruining the health-care system in his memory."

    Now the idea of "retiring" the late Sen. Kennedy's Senate seat may sound rather implausible but the fact remains that whether plausible or implausible it's undeniable that it is a GREAT IDEA!!!!

    It's sadly strange to note that those who would immortalize this Kennedy with the horror of "Teddycare"; would not even allow his brothers John and Robert to enter the DNC convention but would, more than likely bar them from entering by way of armed guards, if ncessary.

    Not that they would want to enter since like Ronald Reagan they might say, "I did leave the Democrat Party - it left me."

  • 36 Fred Sinclair // Aug 27, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    Oops, my bad - should have read, "I did not leave the Democrat Party - it left me."

  • 37 SanFranNan // Aug 28, 2009 at 1:42 am

    If that picture is of you, then I want a date handsome!

    Didn't you use to have purple lips though?

  • 38 Portfolio Editor, HuffPo Contributor Matt Cooper Compares Kennedy Death to 9/11 | linkthe.com // Aug 27, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    [...] Couric to Lead Obama’s New Elite Interrogation Unit (scrappleface.com) [...]

  • 39 Hawkeye_R // Aug 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Great! That Katie Couric can be "real mean" when she wants to be.

  • 40 Darthmeister // Aug 28, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    Democrat Senate Bill Will Give Obama "Emergency" Control of the Internet

    Great, another example of your Democrat government doing what they think is best for Amerika. Closet fascists!

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