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Health Plan Offers Therapy for Obama Fatigue Syndrome

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 32 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2009-07-21) — Republicans in Congress have attached a provision to the massive health care reform bill providing funding for experimental drugs and therapies to mitigate the effects of O.F.S. (Obama Fatigue Syndrome), a collection of often-painful symptoms apparently brought on by over-exposure to the ubiquitous President Barack Obama.

In recent days, the president has appeared on television, on radio, on stage at a country music tribute, on a conference call with left-wing bloggers, and at a Japanese Steakhouse where he was seen tossing sauteed shrimp from the tip of a large knife into the mouths of middle-aged divorced women while keeping up an entertaining banter about the urgency of the moment.

Mr. Obama has worked, perhaps harder than any modern president, to make sure that the people know that he’s there for them, almost-literally all of the time. But medical experts say his ‘omnipresidency’ may also have a down side.

“Too much of anything can cause trouble in the human body,” said an unnamed researcher at the National Institutes of Health. “Even a gentle caress, with incessant repetition, can become an annoyance, then a raspberry abrasion, then an open weeping sore, then gangrene.”

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Tags: Business  · Medicine · U.S. News

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32 responses so far ↓

  • 1 gafisher // Jul 21, 2009 at 11:52 am

    “… then gangrene.”

    Hey, as long as it’s grene, er, green.

  • 2 Tinman // Jul 21, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    I know what that disease is. I started to come down with it 2 1/2 years ago and it really got bad about 7 months ago. Now it’s unbearable.

  • 3 theporche // Jul 21, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Yes, the time has come to amputate.

  • 4 Maggie // Jul 21, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    I faintly remember another Hussein who posted his pictures all over town .He also built monuments and palaces to honor him.He dominated the airways,radio and TV…….Hmmm?

  • 5 Jesse Raphial // Jul 21, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    And with the new healthcare system, we all can get into line and receive the same treatment for our fatigue!

  • 6 Godfrey // Jul 21, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    Is it too late to vote libertarian?

  • 7 onlineanalyst // Jul 21, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    Here is a tune that tells it all.

  • 8 onlineanalyst // Jul 21, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    Obamao puts the bully in bully pulpit.

    Obamao dominates the airwaves almost as much as media-propagandists, Chavez and Castro.

  • 9 Darthmeister // Jul 21, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    Conservatives are always at a disadvantage since liberals/leftists are masters of propaganda … and Mr. Obamarx is no exception.

    I think it’s becoming increasingly evidence that America is suffering from a bad case of BO. Never has the concept of “incompetence” been so well-defined by an empty suit who thinks he can bully Americans to embrace his warped worldview! Well, actually, about 35% of Americans enjoy swilling the liberal kool-aid and nothing is going to change their minds come hades or high water.

    BO presently suffers an approval rating worse than Jimmah Carter at this point in his administration.

  • 10 Darthmeister // Jul 21, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Sheesh … “evidence” should read “evident”.

    Sorry, but for the last three months we’ve been dealing with a family medical crisis and its affecting all of us. It’s veeeeeery difficult to dot all the I’s and cross all the T’s.

  • 11 Laughing@You // Jul 21, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    “… an “empty suit” who thinks he can bully Americans …” Darth that doesn’t even make sense!

    How can an empty suit have any intention at all, let alone “bully Americans to embrace his warped worldview”!

    What you folks here don’t seem to have grasped yet, is that President Obama is doing exactly what he campaigned on, and was elected by an overwhelming majority of Americans to do!

    We understand none of you liked it before the election, and we didn’t expect to win you over for while; but if you can, try not to whine and bellyache about everything.

    Elections have consequences, especially when you win them straight up, without cheating, or having your father or brother cheat for you.

    Everthink?

    One of the “masters of propaganda”, bahwahwawahwah.

  • 12 onlineanalyst // Jul 21, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Never forget that 52% of the voters, not the country voted for the slick used-car salesman who is still shilling lemons. With ACORN and foreign campaign contributors in your back pocket, who needs any other support?

    Rick Lowry offers the following regarding the deceit in Obamao’s health-care bromide:

    “Maybe I’m naïve, but I continue to be shocked by Obama’s willful and blatant dishonesty on health care. Again today, he said, “If you like your current plan, you will be able to keep it. Let me repeat that: If you like your plan, you’ll be able to keep it.” This is just not true. The Lewin evaluation of the House bill says 80 million people would lose their employer coverage under the plan. Obama can’t admit the truth here or it would be devastating for his case. So he keeps up with the same rote prevarication. And right before that line, he said this, “Americans will be able to compare the price and quality of different plans, and pick the plan that they want.” Also, untrue. As Jim Capretta discusses here, the Democrats are erecting “firewalls” precisely to limit people’s choices. And earlier in his remarks, Obama said, “Health-care costs are the biggest drivers of our deficit. Nobody disputes that.” Yet again, not true. In 50?80 years, if it’s not under control, health-care inflation will be the largest driver of our deficit, but in the medium term it is the aging of the Baby Boomers (who will keeping aging even if ObamaCare passes). It is a sign of how weak Obama’s position is on health care that he can’t argue for it honestly.”

    If people are dissatisfied with Medicare, Medicaid, or the VA (government programs all), why would they deliberately choose a federal health or insurance program that guarantees rationing, long waits, lack of choice, or inferior care?

    Why would 80 million individuals lose their employer coverage? Because the federal government can insist on price controls, which would bankrupt private insurers. Price controls create shortages and inferior products. (One only has to look at the empty shelves and long lines in the old Soviet nations.) Price controls would put an immediate halt to innovation and improvements in health care and pharmaceuticals.

    The only people who think that this issue is about Obama are Obama himself (the Narcissist-in-Chief) and the stuck-on-stupid Tiger Beat fans who adore him. (And the latter vote??? One would think that basic intelligence should factor in when making huge fiscal and national security decisions.)

  • 13 onlineanalyst // Jul 21, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    It’s too bad that this video spoils one of my favorite songs, but it certainly fits.

  • 14 camojack // Jul 21, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    Do what I do: go on vacation a lot… ;-)

  • 15 MajorDomo // Jul 21, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    The reason Obummer keeps repeating the lies about his warmed-over Kennedy socialized medicine plan is that he doesn’t even know what’s in the bill. In fact, he doesn’t know much of anything, which is something people should have known before they voted for the Kenyan.

  • 16 onlineanalyst // Jul 21, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    Twenty questions for Obama’s press conference
    I especially like the ones on the economy and numbers 12 and 13 on health care.

  • 17 Fred Sinclair // Jul 21, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    L@Y #11 - Geeze you really made my day! “……and was elected by an overwhelming majority of Americans”

    First off, there certainly is nothing overwhelming about a 52/48 split. About 100 million Americans (give or take a few) voted against your Lord and Master a/k/a “The usurper” - While About 100 million Americans (give or take a few) had their heads in a rather unique location and voted for your guy.

    It would be interesting to see the figures if it were possible to delete all of the fraudulent votes (the graveyard votes, the City Rescue Mission’s busloads of men who were given free cigarettes in exchange for their votes, the votes of the fraudulently registered illegal aliens who voted, etc., etc.) I believe that without the fraudulent votes, McCain and Palin won the election. It would also have helped if McCain had not pulled out all the stops in his effort to lose the election. Palin gave him the 48% figure. Without her McCain would have been on the short end of a 70/30 split.

    When Ronald Reagan won 49 out of 50 states (back before we had 57 states for Obama to visit) - THAT WAS OVERWHELMING!!! His opposition barely took his own home state. I think it was Minnesota, if I recall correctly.

    Overwhelming majority - Whee!!! I haven’t laughed so hard since the hogs ate my little brother.

  • 18 Just In Time « Justbkuz // Jul 21, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    [...] July 22, 2009 in Justbkuz I Like It | Tags: health care reform, Obama, Obamacare, Satire Who says the House and Senate healthcare bills are all bad? Health Plan Offers Therapy for Obama Fatigue Syndrome [...]

  • 19 Fred Sinclair // Jul 21, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Quite a government (government?) we’ve got for ourselves and with our Socialist leaning Repukeians (Beltway Elitists RINOS) - we deserve everything we’ve got coming to us.

    Fortunately this pencil has an eraser aka the 2010 elections when control of Congress reverts back to Republican Conservatives and 2012 (or before) when the usurper is hoisted by his own petard. (Read - Birth Certificate)

    [hoist with (or by) one's own petard have one's plans to cause trouble for others backfire on one. ORIGIN: from Shakespeare's Hamlet ( iii. iv. 207)]

    At least we’ll be well rid of Reid, Pelosi and Hillary of course.

    U.S. Secretary of State, and Bilderberg Group member, Hillary Clinton is scheduled to speak today (7/15/09) before an “open meeting” of the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR).

    Apparently it is a dual effort. First, to increase the perception of her importance within this administration. Second, polishing Obama’s image as both the Gallup and the Rasmussen recent polls show his popularity numbers to be dropping significantly - something the mainstream media is not talking about much.

    Point of Interest: Obama and treaty signing

    One of the many important issues discussed by radio commentator Michael Savage on last night’s show was Omama’s recent signing of the nuclear arms reduction treaty. He pointed out that Obama was trying to bypass the constitutional requirement that all treaties must be reviewed and passed by congress before going into effect. He is attempting to append this treaty to another existing treaty already passed by congress, thereby claiming he doesn’t need congressional approval for this “add-on.” As Savage pointed out, “what gives him the authority to make that determination, certainly not the Constitution?

  • 20 Fred Sinclair // Jul 21, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    Interesting - My #19 that I saw posted as #19 disappeared.

    When I tried to repost I got a flag “Duplicate noted - you’ve already said that - if so, where did it go?

    Scott?

  • 21 Laughing@You // Jul 22, 2009 at 1:11 am

    Obama

    2008 - In the Electoral College Obama received 365 votes, and McCain 173.- Margin 192

    Percentage 52.9% 45.7% - 7.2%

    Popular vote 69,456,897 59,934,814

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_election,_2008

    This is the 6th largest victory margin of all time, and the LARGEST EVER BY A NON-INCUMBENT.
    Largest Popular Vote Margin

    Year Candidate Inc? Margin
    1972 Nixon Yes 17,995,488
    1964 Johnson Yes 17,951,287
    1984 Reagan Yes 16,678,120
    1936 Roosevelt Yes 11,070,786
    1956 Eisenhower Yes 9,551,152
    2008 Obama No 9,124,522*
    1980 Reagan No 8,423,115
    1996 Clinton Yes 8,201,370
    1924 Coolidge Yes 7,377,547
    1988 Bush No 7,077,121

    http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2008/11/obama-popular-vote-margin-largest-ever.html

    See this:

    “Inside Obama’s Sweeping Victory”
    http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1023/exit-poll-analysis-2008

    Bush

    2004 - In the Electoral College, Bush received 286 votes, and Kerry 251. - Margin 35

    Bush Percentage 50.7% 48.3% - 2.4% margin

    Popular vote 62,040,610 59,028,444 - 2.4% margin
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_election,_2004

    After his 2004 “Victory”, Bush said, “I earned capital in the campaign, political capital, and now I intend to spend it. It is my style.” Traditionally, estimating how much power a newly elected president would wield was accomplished by pondering the size of his “mandate.”

    If the Chimp ciphered his “mandate” in this way, it seems President Obama’s Mandate must THREE TIMES LARGER than Dumbyah’s even counting Diebold’s theft of votes in Ohio!

    AND Dumbyah invaded the wrong country, spent a half trillion dollars “off budget”, and cost the live of thousands of Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis.

    “Geeze you really made my day!” Well Fred, for me, it is tiresome to continually cough off this stuff! Have you no honesty; at long last Mister Sinclair have you no honesty at all!

    Everthink?

  • 22 R.A.M. // Jul 22, 2009 at 1:19 am

    I would have been here sooner but, i just got my yearly colon cancer test kit from the VA Hospital and have been busy putting samples of the Obama I just passed on the slides to check for blood in it.

  • 23 JamesonLewis3rd // Jul 22, 2009 at 7:38 am

    BHO did not get the votes of an “overwhelming majority of Americans.”

  • 24 onlineanalyst // Jul 22, 2009 at 9:05 am

    powerpro notes that President NObama has a senatorial history of shutting down real health care amendments. None of these Republican amendments have been permitted to be included in the current boondoggle either.

    “Jim DeMint talked about Obama voting no on meaningful Health Care reform as a Senator and here?s the proof:

    http://demint.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?FuseAction=JimsJournal.Detail&Blog_ID=9e161660-9cd2-5a8e-21d9-e0cfa0290212

    And yet he (Obama) complains that nothing?s been done. Liar.”

    Obamao is a practicioner of the straw-man argument. His only interest is to seize another sector of the economy under the federal government just as any fascist would.

    Will you allow a government bureaucrat to come between you and your doctor?

  • 25 Laughing@You // Jul 22, 2009 at 11:18 am

    CORRECTION

    In Post 21:

    “Geeze you really made my day!” Well Fred, for me, it is tiresome to continually cough off this stuff!

    “Geeze you really made my day!” Well Fred, for me, it is tiresome for you to continually cough up this stuff!

    As you can see, it wore me out so, I couldn’t finish my comment coherently!

    Everthink?

  • 26 upnorthlurkin // Jul 22, 2009 at 11:52 am

    Chuckles, would that be the same electoral college you libs wanted to dismantle after the Bush victories! 52-48 does NOT a landslide make. You’re still carrying Dumbo’s water, huh?!
    Thought you were so proud of fighting against fascism?!

  • 27 Jesse Raphial // Jul 22, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    Laughing@You, did make a point, Obama got the majority of the vote in his home country of Kenya…In the end he will be compared to Pres. Carter, the only difference, Carter continues to go out and “do good”. Obama will continue to go out and make money for himself. And the next leadership will have a lot of mess to clean up. We need a third party..

  • 28 Laughing@You // Jul 22, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    Lurch (Now that I know you’re a lady, I’m looking for another name to call you by.)

    “Chuckles, would that be the same electoral college you libs wanted to dismantle after the Bush victories.”

    I still think the Electoral College is an outdated idea left over from colonial times, when a direct count was not possible.

    “You’re still carrying Dumbo’s water, huh?!”

    Do you mean Dumbyah? If not, could you possibly be referring to Barack Obama? Well, dear heart, I’ll have you know, the 44th President of the United States is almost as much a source of pride for Americans, as Dumbyah was their shame.

    I say almost, because removing that shame and destruction, and paying back that debt is going to take a while.

    “Thought you were so proud of fighting against fascism?!”

    As you can see my fight continues daily. Join with me.

    Come with me all you who are hateful and heavy-ladened, and I will show you the way which brings peace to your troubled hearts.

    Everthink?

  • 29 upnorthlurkin // Jul 22, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    You really are a tired old cliché, Chuckles. So, you’re admitting pride in electing a totally unqualified half black man…. Affirmative action strikes again. That you would celebrate the destruction of this great country is beyond contempt.

  • 30 Laughing@You // Jul 22, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    “So, you’re admitting pride in electing a totally unqualified half black man … “.

    Now Lurch, would you mind pointing out where I said, that I was proud of “electing a totally unqualified half black man… “.

    Affirmative action? We, of all races, who voted for Mr. Obama, celebrate America’s demonstration of the rejection of that our part of our history which was hateful and cruel, but we by no means voted for him because of his race.

    Having stated some parts of my families long history in that part of North America which was among the first of the United States, let me also acknowledge that we were slave holders.

    In my youth it is likely that I was as racially intolerant as anyone here. But, that was in a period of my life when I was much smarter than I am now. A period where nobody could tell me anything, it was also in that period that I was a Conservative Republican.

    I am thankful that most of that stuff is behind me now.

    Everthink?

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