(2002-12-22) — The United States has agreed to provide United Nations weapons inspectors the one thing they seem to lack most-intelligence.
“These boys are none too smart,” said U.S. President Bush, “So we’re gonna help them out.”
Below is a list of “intelligence helpers” the Bush administration has provided to the U.N. inspectors:
- You won’t find anything where it used to be in 1994.
- Any door that an Iraqi opens for you leads to a room with nothing in it.
- As long as you’re breathing, you’re not near any weapons sites.
- Anyone you’re allowed to interview doesn’t know anything.
- Sarin, VX, Anthrax and Plutonium are not stored in containers labeled “Sarin”, “VX”, “Anthrax” or “Plutonium.”
- Any “scientist” you take out of the country to interview will need asylum, and won’t need to make any international phone calls…nobody’s home.
- Get a clue!
