(2009-03-30) — President Barack Obama today tapped consumer advocate and career presidential candidate Ralph Nader to replace fired General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner.
Mr. Nader immediately announced he would join the United Autoworkers Union (UAW).
“The federal government has no intention of running a car company,” Mr. Obama said. “That’s why I’m bringing in Ralph Nader, who had a major influence on GM during the final years of its heyday.”
Other than replacing the CEO and much of the board, and personally approving the firm’s financial recovery plan, the president said he and his government would have “no operational role in GM”.
“General Motors is still a private company, not a government agency,” President Obama said, “I’m not going to be the one putting the nine-volt batteries in the new line of SUVs. You won’t see me attaching the carbon-filter-bag wagons to the pickup truck hitches. And I certainly won’t be hooking up the emissions cap-and-trade meters that will come standard on all new GM vehicles.”
A UAW spokesman said having Mr. Nader as a union member would “reduce the traditional tension between labor and management that has brought the industry to the brink of ruin.”
“We now share a common destiny with the CEO,” the unnamed UAW source said. “When our wages go up, so do Mr. Nader’s. For the first time, we’ll all be on the same team. Of course the GM customer will enjoy the great feeling that he’s driving prosperity for thousands of American families.”
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25 responses so far ↓
1 puzzletop // Mar 30, 2009 at 12:22 pm
General Motors is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better - and that the unfinished work of perfecting our cars fall to each of us. It’s a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each generation to what we know GM should be.
-Barack Obama
2 Ed Driscoll » Unsafe At Any Teleprompter Speed // Mar 30, 2009 at 12:31 pm
[...] Scott Ott satirically writes, “Obama Taps Ralph Nader to Run GM, Nader Joins UAW.” [...]
3 gafisher // Mar 30, 2009 at 1:06 pm
puzzletop Re#1: “It’s a charge we pass on to our children …”
Ain’t THAT the truth?
4 boberinyetagain // Mar 30, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I have a Dodge made in 1993. It runs very well, is quite fast and gets 25mpg every time (I check).
If GM or any other company had chosen to increase that mileage 5% per year a similar car would get 45mpg now.
But they didn’t…boo hoo…for them and for us.
5 gafisher // Mar 30, 2009 at 1:08 pm
With Il Duce Obama at the wheel American industry is unsafe at any speed.
6 gafisher // Mar 30, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Re#4: “If GM or any other company had chosen to increase that mileage 5% per year …”
Why stop there? If GM or any other company had chosen to repeal the laws of physics think where we’d be today.
7 boberinyetagain // Mar 30, 2009 at 1:17 pm
ga…you don’t think that was possible? you should get out more
8 boberinyetagain // Mar 30, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Here’s a place that seems to believe they could have increased mileage, it’s a fairly reputable bunch…
How to Build a 100 Mile-Per-Gallon Car … Right Now
With gas prices at historic highs, PM consults some of the best minds in automotive design and engineering on how to hit the next big milestone in fuel economy. Yes, a four-door that gets 100 mpg really is possible—today, with modern tech. Here’s the plan.
http://www.popularmechanics.com/automotive/how_to/3374271.html
9 R.A.M. // Mar 30, 2009 at 1:46 pm
All the new GM cars, SUV’s, and trucks will come with FREE XM/Sirius radio thanks to another Obama bailout!
XM/Sirius now has 24/7 “Obama teleprompter speeches”! They did leave one channel for the Stevie Wonder song, “Barack Obama” sung to the tune of the musical scales.
ALL Obama, ALL the time! What more could you want?
PS: Even the “Onstar” voice will sound like Obama asking, “What can I help you with?” should you need ANYTHING!
10 Laughing@You // Mar 30, 2009 at 4:05 pm
RAM,
David Letterman had a regular segment on his Late Show called “Great Moments In Presidential Speeches”. It was on every night for months, if not years. While like, most of America, watching the presididiot try to speak a full paragraph, and occasionally dance, or stumble over something was disgusting, I thought Letterman’s contrast between him and real presidents was amusing enough to watch, or even TiVo nightly. As January 20th approached he sadly announced the approach of the end of this favored segment. For a while he tried to continue the segment using President Obama’s speeches, but it just wasn’t funny, so he gave up.
Then like a gift from heaven to Letterman fans, you Right-Wing lunatics started this teleprompter shtick you personally like so much. Now he has a new segment called “Teleprompter/No Teleprompter”.
Thank you for just being you; Democrats everywhere are in your debt!
Everthink?
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/lettermanvideos/youtube/greatmoments1.htm
11 Laughing@You // Mar 30, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Scrapplefussers,
Can we get a little bi-partisan help here?
Everthink?
https://www.democrats.org/page/contribute/zero?source=20090330_zero_ND
12 da Bunny // Mar 30, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Live by the Marxist TOTUS, die by the Marxist TOTUS.
13 upnorthlurkin // Mar 30, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Hey, Chuckles…I’ll take President Bush stumbling over a few words spoken off the cuff over Dumbo reading what his puppet master writes any day! In fact, I’ll take Dubya’s stumbling over Dumbo’s aaahhhing and uuuhhing any day!
And I’ve yet to see the Affirmative Action Prez’s grade transcripts…..or don’t they keep track of things like that when you’re promoted absent any merit?!
14 Updated version of the scariest words in the English language « Sister Toldjah // Mar 30, 2009 at 6:11 pm
[...] as well as Scott Ott’s “Obama Taps Ralph Nader to Run GM, Nader Joins UAW” piece (h/t: Ed [...]
15 Laughing@You // Mar 30, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Lurch,
I was only informing poor RAM what David Letterman was doing! Besides it doesn’t matter that you prefer Dumbyah to a smart president, “We The People” disagree about 5 to 1!
President Obama is not required to present his grade transcripts to you. Now, please, take your seat at the back of the bus.
Everthink?
16 Darthmeister // Mar 30, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Maybe the UAW ought to run GM.
From Andrew Breitbart in today’s Washington Times where he analyzes the internet phenomenon of Obama trolls crashing conservative blogsites using lies and half-truths to promote their political and social agenda:
Uninvited Democratic activists are on a mission to demoralize the enemy - us. They want to ensure that President Obama is not subject to the same coordinated, facts-be-damned, multimedia takedown they employed over eight long years to destroy the presidency - and the humanity - of George W. Bush.
Political leftists play for keeps. They are willing to lie, perform deceptive acts in a coordinated fashion and do so in a wicked way - all in the pursuit of victory. Moral relativism is alive and well in the land of Hope and Change and its Web-savvy youth brigade expresses its “idealism” in a most cynical fashion.
The ends justify the means for them - now more than ever.
Much of Mr. Obama’s vaunted online strategy involved utilizing “Internet trolls” to invade enemy lines under false names and trying to derail discussion. In the real world, that’s called “vandalism.” But in a political movement that embraces “graffiti” as avant-garde art , that’s business as usual. It relishes the ability to destroy other people’s property in pursuit of electoral victory.
Hugh Hewitt’s popular site shut off its comments section because of the success of these obnoxious invaders. Breitbart.com polices nonpartisan newswire stories for such obviously coordinated attacks. Other right-leaning sites such as Instapundit and National Review Online refuse to allow comments, knowing better than to flirt with the online activist left.
No better proof exists than right here at Scrappleface.
17 R.A.M. // Mar 30, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Laughing gasbag, (like his lib, UNfunny counterpart Letterboy), doesn’t give “Barachio” enough credit for his goofy antics.
I rolled on the floor when I saw the idiot trying to enter the White House through a window, he thought was a door, or when he bumped his big bobblehead getting into the Marine helicopter. Or when Michelle said, “-we arde gonna plant some “mints” and some “lettuces”—-we are even gonna make some honey!” That was a killer! I always though bees made honey!
And Obama’s lies that he expects everyone to believe are great! Making satire into reality, who would have thought?
As for Letterboy. The ONLY job he ever had that required any manual labor was “sackboy” at the old Atlas Supermarket about 6 miles from my house. After that he was a second rate weatherboy for a local TV station. Even today, weather people are about as reliable and know what they are talking about as say, -Obama or his minions, (that includes YOU)!
Of course gasbag being the big lib he is, would naturally like Letterboy’s worn out attempts at humor. His humor has turned from lighthearted ribbing to mean spirited viciousness.
Having attended his show, tells you all you need to know about him. When I was there over ten years ago, the “warm up” people kept saying, “Dave will be coming out soon, so be ready. ” They said this over and over. Finally the jerk comes out and has a few words with someone he picks out of the audience, then leaves. When the show starts, he makes reference to their “chat”, as if they talked for hours and are now old friends. Like he would spend anymore time with the peons in the audience than he absolutely had too.
My point? He is a manipulator just like your sweetheart obama, you giggling gasbag! The three of you were made for each other!
18 R.A.M. // Mar 30, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Where’s your boy been gasbag? Back in the loony bin? Maybe jail? Haven’t heard a peek from your fallen A.C.O.R.N. lately.
Is he on assignment from messiah Obama and working on another Conservative blog?
What say you, popinjay?
19 camojack // Mar 30, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Nader? Unsafe at any speed…
20 camojack // Mar 30, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Take 2:
Nader? Unsafe at any speed…
21 R.A.M. // Mar 30, 2009 at 8:32 pm
camojack: As a kid , my dad had a couple of these:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/1963-CHEVROLET-MONZA-900-CONVERTIBLE-LOW-ORIGINAL-MILE_W0QQitemZ370177792025QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Cars_Trucks?hash=item370177792025&_trksid=p4506.c0.m245&_trkparms=65%3A7%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318
I think he paid $250 for the more expensive one. Nader killed them but what I remember is, them being a rear engine car, they got around great in our snowy winters here.
22 Laughing@You // Mar 30, 2009 at 10:02 pm
RAM,
“Where’s your boy been gasbag?”
If you mean my son the former U. S. Army Staff Sergeant, the battle tested war hero, one of those sent to Mogadishu after the “Black Hawk Down” battle, the one who spent three months in southern Iraq (Safwan) during Desert Storm, the one who was there when the Berlin Wall came down, the one with a chest full of ribbons, who didn’t wait to see what kind of deal his daddy could get him before entering the service, if that is the son to which you refer, he’s just fine now.
He did have some medical problems, but his tests turned out OK.
The BlackLion Roars!
I’ll tell him you axed about him. He keeps telling me to take it easy on you. He must feel bad for you, or something.
Everthink?
PS
I owned a ‘63 and ‘64 Corvair Monza. I liked them fine, but Nader was right they were “Unsafe At Any Speed”!
23 Laughing@You // Mar 30, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Darthmeister,
I just know you weren’t referring to me in your insane rant posted at #16.
“Uninvited Democratic activists are on a mission to demoralize the enemy - us. They want to ensure that President Obama is not subject to the same coordinated, facts-be-damned, multimedia takedown they employed over eight long years to destroy the presidency - and the humanity - of George W. Bush.”
I think of myself as more of a “deprogrammer”, or a mental health worker. I, even, sometimes become annoyed with my Democrat friends who don’t even try to “throw you a rope”. After all, most here are people too! You must also remember, I came here long before Obama. How many times have you wished me a Merry Christmas? Maybe someday we’ll be pals, but don’t ever try any of that Log Cabin stuff with me!
Everthink?
Speaking of Dumbyah’s humanity, have you see what Spain is trying to do? War Crimes Trials? Spain is acting downright Un-American.
24 R.A.M. // Mar 31, 2009 at 5:29 pm
et/gasbag #22: John Kerry had a lot of “story’s” about his military career also. I will file your “Story” with those.
25 Jeremy-Gilby-dot-com » Government Motors // Apr 2, 2009 at 1:26 am
[...] Word from Scrappleface is that Obama has nominated Ralph Nader as a replacement. [...]
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