(2009-02-15) — Troubled by the “uncertainty” spurred by the cyclical nature of the U.S. economy, Democrats in Congress, backed by President Barack Obama, will take up debate on a measure this week to make the economy linear instead.
“The ups and downs of markets, prices, and employment can have a devastating effect on consumer confidence,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), as she boarded a plane bound for Europe Friday. “The economic stimulus bill was a good first step in stabilizing confidence. But we still haven’t dealt with the fundamental flaw in the capitalist system.”
Under the terms of the new legislation, official government trend charts would be “ironed out to remove disturbing wrinkles”, restoring global confidence in the U.S. financial system.
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner reportedly unveiled the rough outlines of the plan during a closed-door session at this weekend’s G-7 summit, a meeting of finance ministers from the U.S., Japan, Canada and several states in the new nation of Europe.
“It has been said that when America sneezes, Europe catches cold,” said one G-7 participant. “Once they take the waves out of their economy, the U.S. will no longer generate the ripple effect that hits our shores like an Atlantic tsunami. This is the kind of fresh thinking from Washington of which we Europeans have long dreamed, and have perhaps even inspired.”
13 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Feb 15, 2009 at 7:14 am
The perception the Democrat party wishes to project-to disguise their diabolically reckless ineptitude-is that everything is under control.
Meanwhile, the ecstatic Leftist bootlickers are too busy slurping to notice that they are in free-fall in a black hole and that they are taking the whole world with them.
2 gafisher // Feb 15, 2009 at 7:16 am
The Bill also makes Pi=3, replaces the old-fashioned letter “s” with a European-style accented character, “apostrophe-s,” and mandates an “Equality of Outcomes” change in Public Education which eliminates all forms of grading and, outside of the classroom, assigns athletic scores randomly.
wv - analyzed Not - MSM policy toward Democrats and their
pipe dreamsideas.3 onlineanalyst // Feb 15, 2009 at 10:29 am
The Democrat bill is guaranteed to flatline the economy, creating unimaginable chaos worldwide.
4 gafisher // Feb 15, 2009 at 12:09 pm
“… a measure … to make the economy linear …”
Don’t you mean lunar?
5 simone // Feb 15, 2009 at 2:38 pm
At 7:14 am JamesonLewis3rd said: “Meanwhile, the ecstatic Leftist bootlickers are too busy slurping to notice that they are in free-fall in a black hole and that they are taking the whole world with them.”
Jameson, if any of them notice they don’t care. Much of the group think from the masses is of the “scorched earth” variety. People like Nancy Pelosi know this and play to it. If any of you achievers insist upon getting ahead Nancy is here to level the playing field.
This flat-line thinking is also what these geniuses attempt to apply to the climate.
6 Big Java // Feb 15, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Let’s see, this was tried before in a certain country that no longer exists. Now what was the name of that country? Darn, my memory (I would make a good dim, wouldn’t I).
7 camojack // Feb 15, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Linear cycles…what a concept!
8 MajorDomo // Feb 15, 2009 at 4:14 pm
But on page 1145 of the bill lurks a new provision that further defines “linear cycle”. This would require that the stock market settle on a gvernment’ dictated number, say 10,000 which could vary no more that 3% .
9 onlineanalyst // Feb 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Are we sure that all Dem-inspired bills are not lunar cycled to appeal to the moonbats and their strega House leader Pelosi and zombie Reid?
10 R.A.M. // Feb 15, 2009 at 8:30 pm
“Bug-eyed” Pelosi’s fortune is around 500 million. Does anyone know how she attained it, and was it before she entered politics?
Maybe an investigation is in order?
11 gafisher // Feb 16, 2009 at 8:30 am
R.A.M. Re#10: The Pelosi fortune appears to have come through her husband, with San Fran Nan, who comes from a long and, er, “distinguished” line of political operatives, apparently supplying the connections and greasing the skids (such as widely-reported little deals exempting her family’s businesses from various laws and regulations). There’s some decent information [here] on The D.C. Madam’s dealings.
In a nutshell, it seems she likes to “level the playing field” as long as she’s up in the Owner’s Box.
12 R.A.M. // Feb 16, 2009 at 11:45 am
gafisher: Thank you for the information.
13 gafisher // Feb 16, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Actually, it’s clear uncertainty is precisely what the Democrats want. Without uncertainty there’d be no constant crisis, no sense of impending disaster, and no innocent victims of unpredictable circumstance. Although the Dems might want to remove the ripples, it would only be to replace them with an endless stream of tsunamis.
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