(2008-10-10) — With oil prices plummeting toward $85 a barrel, down almost 40 percent in just a few weeks, U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson today said, “I may use my new superpowers for good by rescuing OPEC member nations to ensure the free flow of gasoline at fair market prices above $3 per gallon.”
Although the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) includes anti-American antagonists like Iran and Venezuela, Mr. Paulson said, the syndicate controls about 40 percent of global oil supply and therefore “they fit the ever-growing category of things too big to fail.”
Mr. Paulson said he would sit down later this afternoon with the Treasury Department checkbook to decide how many billions of dollars each OPEC nation would need, and that he would drop the checks off at the post office on his way home from work.
Just as the stock market went into a free-fall after Congress passed the confidence-boosting financial-sector bailout plan, Mr. Paulson’s remarks about OPEC this morning triggered a global collapse in the price of oil, with a barrel (42 US gallons) of light sweet crude now selling for less than the cost of the barrel itself.
Your Donation Fuels Family-Friendly Satire
10 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Oct 10, 2008 at 7:39 am
God Bless America
2 gafisher // Oct 10, 2008 at 8:10 am
Vote [NO!] on Directive 10-289!
Wage, price and production controls, here we come!
3 gafisher // Oct 10, 2008 at 8:20 am
“… anti-American antagonists like Iran and Venezuela …”
Unfair. Iran and Venezuela like at least one American.
4 boberinyetagain // Oct 10, 2008 at 8:21 am
Funny Scott!
It’s been lovely chatting with you folks over the years but something tells me that today might just be a tad rough and we all might not come out the other side with the time/inclination to be sitting around chatting…
5 NeaL // Oct 10, 2008 at 8:44 am
Here’s a cool video about oil from “RockTheFacts” on YouTube.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U_CZQptvVk
I’m wondering if these kids are self-motivated or coached? Are they homeschooled or in public education?
I especially like this one on Obama and Palin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAHm8hpF8u4
6 danimal // Oct 10, 2008 at 11:46 am
Hey - I was wondering…
Why haven’t Nancy and Harry started the investigations yet? Seems that the Enron mess got a bunch of people dragged out in irons, you’d think they’d want the same for the Fannie/Freddy fiasco. Right?
Or do the rules change when it’s your ox being gored?
7 danimal // Oct 10, 2008 at 11:54 am
Politics has turned into pro wrestling. The results are pre determined, put on stage for public consumption and afterwards, the actors all get on the same bus and ride together to the next city.
It’s merely a distraction for the masses while we’re all consumed by this Socialist Revolution. We’ll be just another European-style utopian suck-hole in just a few short years. Prepare to be shouted down as a crypto racist for any opposition you have in the meantime.
8 Dasher // Oct 10, 2008 at 1:29 pm
danimal : “Why haven’t Nancy and Harry started the investigations yet? ”
Technically congress is out of session until Jan 3, 09 - Thank goodness!
9 Bailout » Blog Archive » Paulson: Plunging Oil Price Puts Opec on Bailout List // Oct 10, 2008 at 6:31 pm
[...] Just as the stock market went into a free-fall after Congress passed the confidence-boosting bailout plan, Mr. Paulson’s remarks about OPEC this morning triggered a global collapse in the price of oil, with a barrel (42 US gallons) of …[Continue Reading] [...]
10 debass // Oct 11, 2008 at 1:25 am
I think we should send the Opecers some of our nuclear weapons just to help them out. We’ll drop them from planes, and they can catch them. We don’t want to expend any extra fuel landing and taking off. Candygram for Mamoud.
You must log in to post a comment.