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Russia to Defeat US Missile Shield with Trigger Locks

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 8 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2008-08-21) — Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, speaking on behalf of former President Vladimir Putin, today threatened that if the United States deploys its missile defense shield in Poland, Russia’s response “will go beyond diplomacy.”

“We cannot stand by as America places defensive weapons within hundreds of miles of our offensive nuclear missiles,” said Mr. Medvedev. “Our response shall be rapid and forceful. I will command our military leaders to put trigger locks on all of our medium range nuclear weapons so that they cannot be shot down on the way to their targets.”

The Russian leader added that if the United States continues this kind of “belligerent armor rattling,” Russia may escalate tensions by completely disarming its entire nuclear arsenal.


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Tags: Global News

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8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Hawkeye // Aug 21, 2008 at 8:11 am

    That’ll show ‘em… those decadent Westerners… Grrrrr! :wink:

    wv = Allies handsome — and appreciated too (thanks Poland).

  • 2 Hawkeye // Aug 21, 2008 at 8:16 am

    Medvedev, speaking on behalf of former President Vladimir Putin… Funny stuff Scott :smile:

  • 3 camojack // Aug 21, 2008 at 8:17 am

    Sounds like a very Democratic way to go… ;-)

  • 4 gafisher // Aug 21, 2008 at 9:10 am

    If Obama’s elected our defensive missiles will be armed with Silly String, against which no mere trigger lock can prevail.

  • 5 Maggie // Aug 21, 2008 at 9:41 am

    Gafisher re #4
    Then there’s always Nerf guns.

  • 6 Russia » Breaking news…Russia severing military ties with NATO // Aug 21, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    [...] Russia to Defeat US Missile Shield with Trigger Locks(2008-08-21) — Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, speaking on behalf of former President Vladimir Putin, today threatened that if the United States deploys its missile defense shield in Poland, Russia’s response “will go beyond … [...]

  • 7 Libby Gone // Aug 21, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    those blankers!
    I knew Space -X Falcon 1 third flight was sabotaged!!!
    Funny though, I know how to prevent it.

  • 8 mindknumbed kid // Aug 21, 2008 at 7:50 pm

    How about trigger locks on the voting machines in rampantly liberal precincts? I wonder what is the correlation between poverty stricken precincts and liberal precincts? I’d bet that nearly all of the poor ones are also liberal democrat strongholds.

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